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| Photo Credit: Associated Press |
As you may have noticed, sports have become a rarity on my Facebook updates. If you're around me in person often, you may have noticed I don't know much about it anymore or talk about it much. Being that I haven't written anything forever, and that I've been trying to process my disinterest in sports for awhile. I thought I'd try to explain it in writing since that's normally the best way for me to understand the thoughts in my head, and those around me who I normally talk sports with might understand better as well.
The First Quarter - Birth of a Sports Fan
Growing up sports were everything for me. It started with baseball. I have very few memories of my childhood. But I distinctly remember my first Indians game. Perhaps it's because of the pictures that remain from it. The pictures I took of just about every inch of the stadium around me. I remember going to Indians games at Municipal Stadium, seeing them play agaist Nolan Ryan. As I grew up and the Indians were consistently terrible, my focus moved from team to team depending on who was winning. But the Indians were always my team.
Baseball has continued to be my favorite sport. Being at a ballpark, no matter what level is relaxing and enjoyable for me. I can watch just about any game on tv. I don't know why, but I love baseball. Maybe there's some sort of link to that being one of my strongest childhood memories, I don't know.
Basketball came next. My friends were suddenly into the NBA which I had never paid much attention to. I wanted to keep up so I turned on the tv and found a game. The geniuses that put WGN all over the place claimed another victory. I found a Chicago Bulls game. That Michael Jordan guy looked pretty good. So I made them my favorite team. This was 1989 or 90, a good time to become a Bulls fan and it got me into basketball rather quickly. A replica jersey phase would soon follow. After Jordan retired (the 2nd time) I decided I should root for my hometown team and started supporting the Cavs. Which again, ended up being a fortunate time to hop on a team's bandwagon.
Football came a little later. I watched it some as a child but the Browns being the Browns I didn't really care all that much. As my interest in sports in general grew, I added football to my...roster...and again, the Browns being the Browns, I jumped on the Cowboys bandwagon because they were winning and fun to watch. Like I eventually did with the Cavs, I decided to fully support my hometown team, although this was much earlier. In 1994. Yep. 1994. So I dedicated myself to the Browns in time for them to move. But I was fully on board when they came back. Yay, me.
The Second Quarter - Nurturing of a Sports Fan
My sports fandom really took off in college as the boom of internet fantasy leagues hit about the same time I entered a dorm room. Fantasy sports let me go deeper into the games and feel more involved (and pull a ridiculous trade to my baseball-ignorant roommate*.)
Despite the fact that I lost interest in high school sports more or less the moment I graduated high school, I decided to major in journalism to become a sports writer. I was the sports editor of the newspaper my junior year. My senior year I became the managing editor and kept my finger prints all over the sports page (sorry Trex). The sports section (along with my hot-winded editorials) were my baby.
Then during the fall semester of my senior year, I scored press passes to an Ohio State game. I sat in the box the first three quarters and hear 40- and 50-year-old men talk about driving hours to cover high school football games the night before and then driving to Columbus to cover the came on Saturday. They sounded miserable and their jobs sounded miserable. I decided I didn't want to be a sports writer. But I still loved being at the game and the game itself.
The Third Quarter - Peak of a Sports Fan
A year-and-a-half after graduating college I happened upon the website armchairgm.com. I don't remember how. I think one of the founders found something sports-related I wrote and left a comment. Or a I saw a comment on another site. Once I was there, I was hooked.
ArmchairGM was (or I guess is, although it's a shell of it's former self) a sports wiki page where you could write and post your own articles, edit player and team pages, argue with other fans, etc. I wrote countless article for the page (which are all gone now as far as I can tell, I was able to find one through google archives). I was a top user and admin for the site. I ran college football polls. It became an obsession, really, that I had to step back from.
Right around the same time I was cooling down on the site, the creators sold it (and have gone on to do some incredible things). It worked for the best for me, for as I was trying to get away from it the purchasing company destroyed the site.
During this time my college football fanship thrived with the Buckeyes, I tried to quit the Browns and failed (the only articles I really wish I could get back from Armchair), LeBron was keeping my interest in the NBA, I made numerous trips from Columbus to Cleveland to see the Tribe. Sports were still my number one hobby.
The Fourth Quarter - Infection of a Sports Fan
I almost used cancer instead of infection, but being that we live in a world were words are too often hyperbolized for sports usage, I won't. While high school sports were the first thing to go, the first major wrecking ball to my sports fandom was actually LeBron James' fault.
My interest in the NBA had been dwindling for some time. The players were selfish, the play was sloppy, the coaches were retreaded and reused, I hated that no one was saying anything about former Celtic Kevin McHale going to Minnesota and pulling multiple lopsided trades to his former team, it just wasn't much fun to watch anymore. But one of my teams actually had a chance to win a championship so I kept paying attention.
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| Photo Credit: Associated Press |
The next year came the Ohio State tattoo scandal. I hated that my favorite team had broken the rules for such stupid reasons. When that broke before the bowl game I was embarrassed by the team so much I didn't watch the game. Then, as the offseason went on, I listened and watched as grown men--players, coaches and administrators-- lied and covered until they couldn't lie and cover anymore. All to save some players with an inflated sense of entitlement so they could win some more games. This infuriated me. Men that put themselves on pedestals as ethical leaders (well, one man in particular) threw it all away for tattoos.
I thought it would go away, that I'd get over and start watching again, but as I stepped back from being an Ohio State fan, I saw the hoards of OSU fans that didn't think that anyone at the school did anything wrong, that couldn't understand why anyone was getting in trouble, that even though Tress was gone and the players were suspended that they'd still win every game and the national championship. The denial and delusion in this city was off-putting enough that I gave up the school completely and by default lost interest in college football completely. And again, I didn't miss it.
This wasn't a huge hit or surprise, but still another sign, I've never been a big college basketball fan, but I've always done march madness. This year I didn't. I didn't miss it.
As I left the NBA and NCAA behind without any remorse, I started to wonder. What would happen if I'd walk away from the NFL.... what about baseball? The more I think about it, I'm pretty sure I could give up the NFL. The Browns, after all, are still the Browns. I enjoy the game, I enjoy watching it and talking about it with friends. But I don't know that I'd actually miss it.
Baseball on the other hand... I think I would miss baseball. I want to take my boys to baseball games like I went with my parents dozens and dozens and dozens of times (I really I wish I'd kept count.) I'd miss the ballpark, the feel, the atmosphere, the food and the game. But at the same time... I have to wonder if it's worth holding onto.
Overtime - Life Support of a Sports Fan
"I don't fear failure. I fear succeeding at something that doesn't matter. -Dan Ericksons
I heard this quote recently, I believe it was at the men's breakfast at church. And it's been echoing through my head any time I question my sports fanhood. Sports don't matter.
What if they Browns would win the Super Bowl (stop laughing) or the Indians the World Series (seriously, stop)? What if my team actually won it all?
Fans are typically exuberant, but at this point, I don't know that I would be. Now that I've grown cold and distant to some sports, my emotions for the others have become very shallow. I'm still interested, but only mildly. I really think if the Browns would win the Super Bowl this year, I'd be less "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and more "wow, cool."
As I've stepped away from the NBA and NCAA and I see people talking and arguing and writing about their teams in these leagues I just don't get it anymore. I don't see spending time on something so insignificant. I see the value in the the distraction that sports provide, but it just becoming more and more worthless to me.
But at the same time I hold on to the NFL and baseball.
It's not really taking up a lot of time or energy at this point. It's nice to have some knowledge for small talk usage, and I do still enjoy watching both of the sports, but I don't find the highs of the win or the lows of the losses, it doesn't directly affect me anymore. Which is good in a way, but at the same time makes the time I do devote to it less worthwhile.
At this point I'm more or less rambling. Because this is where I am. I feel like I need to recommit to sports (namely these two) as a hobby and distraction; Or walk away completely and just forget about it. The decision might be easier if I had another major hobby, but nothing has really filled this gap yet.
I guess a decision won't come now because baseball certainly won't be the next to go. Really I need to decide sooner rather than later if I'm going to watch the NFL next year. That would most likely be the final test to see how much life this sports fan still has in him.
*Jeff Kent for Eric Young, I sold it on Young's steals. Sorry, Chris. Kind of.
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