Love Is Series: Verse 6

1 Corinthians 13:6 - It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.


I referenced Matthew Henry again on this one. He said, "It does nothing out of place or time; but behaves towards all men as becomes their rank and ours, with reverence and respect to superiors, with kindness and condescension to inferiors, with courtesy and good-will towards all men."

Being a first born (check out the birth order book [aff link]) I have no problems with this. I always want to do things the way they're supposed to be done and follow the rules. I make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to and when I'm supposed to.

However my fault here lies in the reasoning behind doing so a lot of the time. There's a difference between following the rules to follow the rules, which can be dogmatic and religious, and not doing it out of service and love.

Too many times, doing the right thing becomes fulfilling a checklist and doesn't have the heart behind it should. There's a big gap between following the rules and rejoicing in the truth.

How have you walked the line between following rules and doing what's right?

Love Is Series: Verse 5b

1 Corinthians 13:5b: It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful

To know how I measure up to this, I need to look no further than a review I received from work. My manager polled all of the management team about each individual manager on a long list of areas and asked for commentary on them. The results were provided to us anonymously. We answered the questions about ourselves as well so we know how what we think about ourselves matches up with how our peers see us. It's a pretty fantastic tool.

Anyway, short story long, one of the comments on mine was, "Once he has his mind made up, doesn't waiver." 

Granted, this was only one person, and I don't have any perspective. But being that I consider myself pretty laid back and flexible, it's disappointing that I've given anyone, even that one person that impression. 

At some point, or maybe over several occasions, I gave this person the impression that my way was the only way. And I'm not ok with that. I want to be open to others ideas, work as a team and move forward. I don't want to give the impression that I'm "irritable or resentful" if I don't give my way. 

Luckily with this tool saved in my inbox as a reminder, I can approach our meetings with this prospective and remind myself to show my openness when discussing plans of action. 

Hopefully it carries over into my family life as well. 

How do you do with not getting your own way? How would others say you do?

Love Is Series: Verse 4b-5a

1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a: Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

Is thinking you're good at this stuff boasting?

Seriously, though, I had to marinate on these for awhile because I found it tough to put envy and boast in a love context. I looked at Matthew Henry's commentary and he talked about in the context of loving your neighbor, which made sense, so let's look at that.

For envy, Henry says, "it is not grieved at the good of others; neither at their gifts nor at their good qualities...If we love our neighbour we shall be so far from envying his welfare, or being displeased with it, that we shall share in it and rejoice at it."

I honestly think I'm generally good with that. I'm content with what I have, I'm happy for others when they succeed--unless I feel they really didn't earn it, and then I struggle. Every now and then there's a gadget that I get overly obsessed with and want for awhile, but I've learned to move past this.

The second part though, was convicting. Henry says, "True love will give us an esteem of our brethren, and raise our value for them; and this will limit our esteem of ourselves, and prevent the tumours of self-conceit and arrogance."

I don't believe myself to be outwardly arrogant. I'm bad at self-promotion, I don't like to talk about my own accomplishments and get embarrassed and uncomfortable when publicly recognized at work.

However on the flip-side of that, I do have have an inward arrogance that rears it's ugly head in allowing myself to gossip or speak poorly of those who do their job poorly. And that's just as bad if not worse. Too often I find myself complaining about someone's poor performance instead of helping them be better or seeing if there's a deeper issue that's causing them to struggle.

This is a hard pill to swallow and definitely something I need to get right if I'm going to be a good example in the workplace.

How does envy and boasting play into your life? How have you found to fight the "tumors of self-conceit and arrogance?

Love Is Series: Introduction and Verse 4a

I'm going to be attempting a series based on 1 Corinthians 13 in which I'll put myself into the verses of the definition of love to process how I'm loving those around me. 

1 Corinthians 13:4a "Love is patient and kind"

I had this idea awhile back and looking at even this first verse made me put it off. It's tough to think about yourself and really be honest. I like to think of myself as patient and kind. But am I?

I think I'm generally kind. My sarcasm can sometimes defy that, which is something I've try to get better about over time but still struggle with. I started to think about what being kind means and here's what Merriam-Webster had to say:

1 chiefly dialect : affectionate, loving

2 a : of a sympathetic or helpful nature

I like to think that when it comes to being needing sympathy or help, I'm generally there for them. But is that enough? That's why I think these two are together, and even why kindness follows patience. 

I don't think one can truly be kind without patience.

It's easy to help someone in need, but what if it becomes difficult? What if the person is really whiny? Or acts entitled to the help? Or is unappreciative? What if the need for help comes at a truly inconvenient time? 

That's when kindness can turn to begrudging duty. It's when sarcasm becomes the first response. It's when resentment sets in. And that's no longer patience.

When I first though about this, my first thought was that I'm unfortunately less patient with my family than with others, specifically coworkers. But in general I think I'm equally impatient with others, I just give them that surface kindness. 

Patient and Kind seem simple on the surface, but they require a lot of humility and grace to truly give enough for people to be treated fairly, let alone be loved. It's troubling to think about how often I fail at these two things.

What are your thoughts? How do you stack up with kindness and patience?

My Journey to Baptism

At our church, those getting baptized are asked to share their testimony beforehand. I had this typed out beforehand, but decided to talk instead of read. So this is the thought-out, not-rambling version. :-)


This isn't my first baptism.

I grew up in the Methodist church which believes in baby baptism. So on September 19, 1982, at just under six months old, I was baptized. From there I grew up in a Christian home, was involved in church, went to a Nazarene university. I never knew anything different.

Then, shortly after my wife and I were married I went to membership classes at her home church, which I had been going to with her for several years. In one of those classes they mentioned that you had to be baptized as an adult to be a member.

I didn't understand. I was already baptized, why did it matter when it was? They said it didn't make a difference in you being saved, but they still considered it a necessity as a mature Christian to make that public declaration. I didn't express it in the class, but I got defensive. What was wrong with my church? What was wrong with all the people there I grew up with? What makes you more correct than them? I didn't agree, I thought my baptism should "count" and while I kept attending there, I didn't pursue membership any further. 

Fast forward a year or two later and my wife and I were now living in Columbus and we're in the membership class at Linworth. There it was again. Baptism. That one 20-something years ago doesn't count.

Now that I heard it a 2nd time it started to break down the walls I had built up, albeit slowly. I talked about it with my wife several times. She asked questions about Methodists and baptism that I realized I really didn't know the answer to. I told her I thought they might have rebaptized us when we were made church members but we both agreed that if was part of a ceremony and especially if I didn't remember it doesn't really count either.

But still even as the idea made more sense and I read over Jesus' words about baptism, I resisted.

I still felt like getting baptized would be admitting that my home church, my parents church, the denomination both of my families have been in for decades was wrong.

But then, finally, earlier this year I started to get it.

I realized that this was never about that other church. This has all been about me and God. How I wanted to be right. How I didn't want to be told what to do.

Throughout my adult life I have made choices, about what college to go to, about what major to choose, about my career path by myself. I would pray about it, but I wouldn't really listen. I often felt that "divine discontent" that something wasn't right and that I could be in a better place. But I always tried to pick the way and figure it out myself.

Then this Easter, we went to church with my Grandma at Fohl Memorial United Methodist Church in Navarre, Ohio. It was a wonderful service. Great music, a touching message and we enjoyed being there with my family. But the thing that stuck out to me most was the baptism. There was a baby only a few months old that was baptized. She was upset and crying, not really enjoying herself.

I realized I was still like that baby. Fighting for what I wanted when there was something so amazing going on around me. I wasn't truly understanding and accepting the love and grace God has for me and the plan He has for my life.

So finally, after 30 years of stubbornness, I started giving up control to God, and admitted to Him as well as myself how terrible I am at making decisions. How I don't know know what I'm doing. How I need his direction and want to follow his plan. And this time, I'm actually going to stop and pay attention.

And so as a symbol and declaration to Him, myself, and all of you. I'm here, being baptized for the first time as a willing follower of Christ. I'm humbled and excited to be here today and to see where God takes me and my family from here.

not a fan by Kyle Idleman

Part of my BHAGs was to read more, specifically a book a month. As I stated in my first update, I started one book but was stopped by having to return it to the library. In retrospect, I believe that someone putting that book on hold so I had to return it was a work of God. I needed to read not a fan.  by Kyle Idleman (aff link) and I needed to read it now.

I finished not a fan in a little less than two weeks. Idleman has a way of making a huge, life-altering message very accessible and comprehendible. Although the read itself is quick, it's a book you process throughout the day while you aren't reading it, as you see how it applies to your life.

If you don't know any thing about not a fan, Idleman draws a dividing line between fans of Jesus and followers of Jesus. Jesus wants so more from us than we give him and Idleman calls us on that. 

I knew going into the book (and perhaps it's why it sat on our shelf for so long) that I generally fall into the "fan" category. I knew the book would be convicting. I knew it would be challenging. I knew I wasn't sure I was ready for that. 

The reason I needed to read it at this time is my baptism is next Sunday. This baptism is obviously a big step and Idleman's message gave me a powerful foundation to take it on. 

Idleman's book is offensive in the best kind of way. Through scripture, personal examples and even humor, he doesn't pull punches. He doesn't soften God's true message. He tells us exactly what we need to hear so that we don't become the ones sent away in Matthew 7:23-23.

Idleman challenges to stop being simply fans of Jesus and start being the followers we claim to be. If you consider yourself a Christ follower, dare yourself to read this book and see where you really fall.