Love Is Series: Verse 4b-5a

1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a: Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

Is thinking you're good at this stuff boasting?

Seriously, though, I had to marinate on these for awhile because I found it tough to put envy and boast in a love context. I looked at Matthew Henry's commentary and he talked about in the context of loving your neighbor, which made sense, so let's look at that.

For envy, Henry says, "it is not grieved at the good of others; neither at their gifts nor at their good qualities...If we love our neighbour we shall be so far from envying his welfare, or being displeased with it, that we shall share in it and rejoice at it."

I honestly think I'm generally good with that. I'm content with what I have, I'm happy for others when they succeed--unless I feel they really didn't earn it, and then I struggle. Every now and then there's a gadget that I get overly obsessed with and want for awhile, but I've learned to move past this.

The second part though, was convicting. Henry says, "True love will give us an esteem of our brethren, and raise our value for them; and this will limit our esteem of ourselves, and prevent the tumours of self-conceit and arrogance."

I don't believe myself to be outwardly arrogant. I'm bad at self-promotion, I don't like to talk about my own accomplishments and get embarrassed and uncomfortable when publicly recognized at work.

However on the flip-side of that, I do have have an inward arrogance that rears it's ugly head in allowing myself to gossip or speak poorly of those who do their job poorly. And that's just as bad if not worse. Too often I find myself complaining about someone's poor performance instead of helping them be better or seeing if there's a deeper issue that's causing them to struggle.

This is a hard pill to swallow and definitely something I need to get right if I'm going to be a good example in the workplace.

How does envy and boasting play into your life? How have you found to fight the "tumors of self-conceit and arrogance?

Review: Dominion

Programming Note: I've always enjoyed writing reviews. Not because I think my opinion is that important, but I like analyzing what I like and dislike about things (vague stretch towards the "Prosscess name). Being that I want to write more, and I enjoy writing reviews, you'll probably be seeing them more here. 

Dominion

We were lucky enough to be able to take a week off over a Christmas. One of the things we did was finally get a game night in with my wife's cousin and his wife (visit her blog if you like food).

The first game we played was Dominion. [Aff link] They thought they were just introducing us to a new game, what they did was create monsters. After returning home from Christmas, my wife and I purchased Dominion and have played a couple games almost every weekend since (we track our wins in the box lid, we're a bit competitive). We also recently got an expansion pack which I'll review later.

Dominion is a strategy card game where you build a deck of card over time with the ultimate goal to buy or earn the most victory points by the end of the game.

There are a few major things I really enjoy about this game.

1) You can decide how deep to get into the strategy. There are entire websites devoted to the strategy of the game, but it's also easy to learn and play pretty quickly. We've had friends over and taught them the same as we were taught. It takes about 10 minutes of explanation and then you can dive in. The new players might not win the first go-round as they're learning how the game flows, but they'll likely enjoy it and be able to do considerably better next time. 

2) It's different every time. There are 25 action cards in the stand-alone game and you only use 10 at a time. So there is a ridiculous number of possible combinations to the game and each one will require a little different strategy. Throw in an expansion with another 25 action cards and you'll never, ever play the same game twice. There are randomizer cards which we normally use, or sometime we each choose 5.  There are also preset suggestions that come with the game.

3) It doesn't take forever. Once we got the hang of it, we get through a game in 30-45 minutes for the two of us. It's a nice little break and if we have more time we can play twice.

4) The box. Ok, this is kind of silly, but I love how the boxes are set up. They're super organized and well made.

If you're looking for something a little different, I really recommend picking up Dominion. Or really, someone you know might have it. It's way more popular than I realized (considering I hadn't heard of it until December).

In a world full of party games, this is a great way to have some fun and use your brain at the same time.

Love Is Series: Introduction and Verse 4a

I'm going to be attempting a series based on 1 Corinthians 13 in which I'll put myself into the verses of the definition of love to process how I'm loving those around me. 

1 Corinthians 13:4a "Love is patient and kind"

I had this idea awhile back and looking at even this first verse made me put it off. It's tough to think about yourself and really be honest. I like to think of myself as patient and kind. But am I?

I think I'm generally kind. My sarcasm can sometimes defy that, which is something I've try to get better about over time but still struggle with. I started to think about what being kind means and here's what Merriam-Webster had to say:

1 chiefly dialect : affectionate, loving

2 a : of a sympathetic or helpful nature

I like to think that when it comes to being needing sympathy or help, I'm generally there for them. But is that enough? That's why I think these two are together, and even why kindness follows patience. 

I don't think one can truly be kind without patience.

It's easy to help someone in need, but what if it becomes difficult? What if the person is really whiny? Or acts entitled to the help? Or is unappreciative? What if the need for help comes at a truly inconvenient time? 

That's when kindness can turn to begrudging duty. It's when sarcasm becomes the first response. It's when resentment sets in. And that's no longer patience.

When I first though about this, my first thought was that I'm unfortunately less patient with my family than with others, specifically coworkers. But in general I think I'm equally impatient with others, I just give them that surface kindness. 

Patient and Kind seem simple on the surface, but they require a lot of humility and grace to truly give enough for people to be treated fairly, let alone be loved. It's troubling to think about how often I fail at these two things.

What are your thoughts? How do you stack up with kindness and patience?

And then slightly under 200 days later...

A little over six months, and I'm going to give it another go. No promises... 

Figured I'd start again with an update on my BHAGs:

Make daily devotions a lifestyle
This has been better this year. I've completed several shorter reading plans through YouVersion and am working through two more now. With the exception of about one week where I forgot to turn on the reminders, I'm reading something pretty much every day. I still need to spend more time in prayer.

Read a book a month
Not even a little bit. I don't think I've read any books since I stopped posting here. Currently I am working through For Men Only with our small group at church and 1 2 3 Magic with my wife. (Afflinks)

Be Debt Free
We've let other things become priorities with our money. We're trying to get back on track with this.

Write More

Heh, obviously that hasn't been going well.


NEW: Get Healthy
This I've been working on (along with my wife) for a little over a month. I've started using the LoseIt app for iPhone to track calories. Just thinking about what I'm eating have helped stop overeating and that along with exercise have helped me lose 15 lbs through our first four weeks. Still a long way to go, but I'm happy with the progress.

I realize this makes for boring reading, but that's not the point. I'm going to try and write a few posts and schedule them later to get things going again. Hopefully you'll hear from me again before another six months passes. If not, Happy Halloween!

My BHAGs August Update

It's been two months since I last updated my Big Hairy Audacious Goals for myself. As I really want to get back into blogging, I figured another update would be a good way to start. Yay, accountability. :-) 

Make daily devotions a lifestyle.
This has become a struggle again. Since my last update I've gone back to working at 6 am again and I've never been able to find a time that works for me on this schedule. I need to figure something out and soon.

Read a book a month.
I ended up buying 48 Days to the Work You Love I finished Not a Fan and was working through it somewhat diligently. But then I got promoted at work so now I'm not so interested in finding a new job. I still plan to finish it, but I'm not in a place to job search at the moment. I've gotten EntreLeadership from the library and want to start that next. (All links AffLinks)

Be Debt Free
We had a great month two months ago and knocked out a big chunk of our student loans. Last month we got a little lax. Time to refocus.

Write More
Obviously I've struggled with this one as I've stopped blogging. I would like to get back to blogging at least once a week.

I'd like to add a new one since Baptism is off the list, but I'd like to make some more progress on these four first since I've had backslides all around lately. Hopefully this public posting will get me back on track!

Hitting the Reset Button

The power outage threw off my groove.

I had a pretty good rhythm of writing on Friday night, editing Saturday and posting Sunday but losing power for Friday through Monday back a few weeks ago stopped me from blogging that weekend. Then I just never got back in the rhythm. 

I've thought about blogging, but I've once again been struggling with what to write about. The thing I'm  processing most at the time (and that is what the blog is supposed to be about) is work and I can't blog about work. 

At this point I don't have the time, or the idea, to write a full blog. I felt it was important to post. Stay connected to the blog. And start over again. 

My Journey to Baptism

At our church, those getting baptized are asked to share their testimony beforehand. I had this typed out beforehand, but decided to talk instead of read. So this is the thought-out, not-rambling version. :-)


This isn't my first baptism.

I grew up in the Methodist church which believes in baby baptism. So on September 19, 1982, at just under six months old, I was baptized. From there I grew up in a Christian home, was involved in church, went to a Nazarene university. I never knew anything different.

Then, shortly after my wife and I were married I went to membership classes at her home church, which I had been going to with her for several years. In one of those classes they mentioned that you had to be baptized as an adult to be a member.

I didn't understand. I was already baptized, why did it matter when it was? They said it didn't make a difference in you being saved, but they still considered it a necessity as a mature Christian to make that public declaration. I didn't express it in the class, but I got defensive. What was wrong with my church? What was wrong with all the people there I grew up with? What makes you more correct than them? I didn't agree, I thought my baptism should "count" and while I kept attending there, I didn't pursue membership any further. 

Fast forward a year or two later and my wife and I were now living in Columbus and we're in the membership class at Linworth. There it was again. Baptism. That one 20-something years ago doesn't count.

Now that I heard it a 2nd time it started to break down the walls I had built up, albeit slowly. I talked about it with my wife several times. She asked questions about Methodists and baptism that I realized I really didn't know the answer to. I told her I thought they might have rebaptized us when we were made church members but we both agreed that if was part of a ceremony and especially if I didn't remember it doesn't really count either.

But still even as the idea made more sense and I read over Jesus' words about baptism, I resisted.

I still felt like getting baptized would be admitting that my home church, my parents church, the denomination both of my families have been in for decades was wrong.

But then, finally, earlier this year I started to get it.

I realized that this was never about that other church. This has all been about me and God. How I wanted to be right. How I didn't want to be told what to do.

Throughout my adult life I have made choices, about what college to go to, about what major to choose, about my career path by myself. I would pray about it, but I wouldn't really listen. I often felt that "divine discontent" that something wasn't right and that I could be in a better place. But I always tried to pick the way and figure it out myself.

Then this Easter, we went to church with my Grandma at Fohl Memorial United Methodist Church in Navarre, Ohio. It was a wonderful service. Great music, a touching message and we enjoyed being there with my family. But the thing that stuck out to me most was the baptism. There was a baby only a few months old that was baptized. She was upset and crying, not really enjoying herself.

I realized I was still like that baby. Fighting for what I wanted when there was something so amazing going on around me. I wasn't truly understanding and accepting the love and grace God has for me and the plan He has for my life.

So finally, after 30 years of stubbornness, I started giving up control to God, and admitted to Him as well as myself how terrible I am at making decisions. How I don't know know what I'm doing. How I need his direction and want to follow his plan. And this time, I'm actually going to stop and pay attention.

And so as a symbol and declaration to Him, myself, and all of you. I'm here, being baptized for the first time as a willing follower of Christ. I'm humbled and excited to be here today and to see where God takes me and my family from here.