My BHAGs August Update

It's been two months since I last updated my Big Hairy Audacious Goals for myself. As I really want to get back into blogging, I figured another update would be a good way to start. Yay, accountability. :-) 

Make daily devotions a lifestyle.
This has become a struggle again. Since my last update I've gone back to working at 6 am again and I've never been able to find a time that works for me on this schedule. I need to figure something out and soon.

Read a book a month.
I ended up buying 48 Days to the Work You Love I finished Not a Fan and was working through it somewhat diligently. But then I got promoted at work so now I'm not so interested in finding a new job. I still plan to finish it, but I'm not in a place to job search at the moment. I've gotten EntreLeadership from the library and want to start that next. (All links AffLinks)

Be Debt Free
We had a great month two months ago and knocked out a big chunk of our student loans. Last month we got a little lax. Time to refocus.

Write More
Obviously I've struggled with this one as I've stopped blogging. I would like to get back to blogging at least once a week.

I'd like to add a new one since Baptism is off the list, but I'd like to make some more progress on these four first since I've had backslides all around lately. Hopefully this public posting will get me back on track!

Hitting the Reset Button

The power outage threw off my groove.

I had a pretty good rhythm of writing on Friday night, editing Saturday and posting Sunday but losing power for Friday through Monday back a few weeks ago stopped me from blogging that weekend. Then I just never got back in the rhythm. 

I've thought about blogging, but I've once again been struggling with what to write about. The thing I'm  processing most at the time (and that is what the blog is supposed to be about) is work and I can't blog about work. 

At this point I don't have the time, or the idea, to write a full blog. I felt it was important to post. Stay connected to the blog. And start over again. 

My Journey to Baptism

At our church, those getting baptized are asked to share their testimony beforehand. I had this typed out beforehand, but decided to talk instead of read. So this is the thought-out, not-rambling version. :-)


This isn't my first baptism.

I grew up in the Methodist church which believes in baby baptism. So on September 19, 1982, at just under six months old, I was baptized. From there I grew up in a Christian home, was involved in church, went to a Nazarene university. I never knew anything different.

Then, shortly after my wife and I were married I went to membership classes at her home church, which I had been going to with her for several years. In one of those classes they mentioned that you had to be baptized as an adult to be a member.

I didn't understand. I was already baptized, why did it matter when it was? They said it didn't make a difference in you being saved, but they still considered it a necessity as a mature Christian to make that public declaration. I didn't express it in the class, but I got defensive. What was wrong with my church? What was wrong with all the people there I grew up with? What makes you more correct than them? I didn't agree, I thought my baptism should "count" and while I kept attending there, I didn't pursue membership any further. 

Fast forward a year or two later and my wife and I were now living in Columbus and we're in the membership class at Linworth. There it was again. Baptism. That one 20-something years ago doesn't count.

Now that I heard it a 2nd time it started to break down the walls I had built up, albeit slowly. I talked about it with my wife several times. She asked questions about Methodists and baptism that I realized I really didn't know the answer to. I told her I thought they might have rebaptized us when we were made church members but we both agreed that if was part of a ceremony and especially if I didn't remember it doesn't really count either.

But still even as the idea made more sense and I read over Jesus' words about baptism, I resisted.

I still felt like getting baptized would be admitting that my home church, my parents church, the denomination both of my families have been in for decades was wrong.

But then, finally, earlier this year I started to get it.

I realized that this was never about that other church. This has all been about me and God. How I wanted to be right. How I didn't want to be told what to do.

Throughout my adult life I have made choices, about what college to go to, about what major to choose, about my career path by myself. I would pray about it, but I wouldn't really listen. I often felt that "divine discontent" that something wasn't right and that I could be in a better place. But I always tried to pick the way and figure it out myself.

Then this Easter, we went to church with my Grandma at Fohl Memorial United Methodist Church in Navarre, Ohio. It was a wonderful service. Great music, a touching message and we enjoyed being there with my family. But the thing that stuck out to me most was the baptism. There was a baby only a few months old that was baptized. She was upset and crying, not really enjoying herself.

I realized I was still like that baby. Fighting for what I wanted when there was something so amazing going on around me. I wasn't truly understanding and accepting the love and grace God has for me and the plan He has for my life.

So finally, after 30 years of stubbornness, I started giving up control to God, and admitted to Him as well as myself how terrible I am at making decisions. How I don't know know what I'm doing. How I need his direction and want to follow his plan. And this time, I'm actually going to stop and pay attention.

And so as a symbol and declaration to Him, myself, and all of you. I'm here, being baptized for the first time as a willing follower of Christ. I'm humbled and excited to be here today and to see where God takes me and my family from here.

not a fan by Kyle Idleman

Part of my BHAGs was to read more, specifically a book a month. As I stated in my first update, I started one book but was stopped by having to return it to the library. In retrospect, I believe that someone putting that book on hold so I had to return it was a work of God. I needed to read not a fan.  by Kyle Idleman (aff link) and I needed to read it now.

I finished not a fan in a little less than two weeks. Idleman has a way of making a huge, life-altering message very accessible and comprehendible. Although the read itself is quick, it's a book you process throughout the day while you aren't reading it, as you see how it applies to your life.

If you don't know any thing about not a fan, Idleman draws a dividing line between fans of Jesus and followers of Jesus. Jesus wants so more from us than we give him and Idleman calls us on that. 

I knew going into the book (and perhaps it's why it sat on our shelf for so long) that I generally fall into the "fan" category. I knew the book would be convicting. I knew it would be challenging. I knew I wasn't sure I was ready for that. 

The reason I needed to read it at this time is my baptism is next Sunday. This baptism is obviously a big step and Idleman's message gave me a powerful foundation to take it on. 

Idleman's book is offensive in the best kind of way. Through scripture, personal examples and even humor, he doesn't pull punches. He doesn't soften God's true message. He tells us exactly what we need to hear so that we don't become the ones sent away in Matthew 7:23-23.

Idleman challenges to stop being simply fans of Jesus and start being the followers we claim to be. If you consider yourself a Christ follower, dare yourself to read this book and see where you really fall.

Talk Radio Killed the Radio Star

I used to be a music guy.

I can still recite lyrics and name the year of release of a large number of songs from the 1990s and early 2000s.

I was all music all the time. From mix tapes in middle school to burned CDs in high school to MP3 playlists in college. I wrote reviews for the newspaper in college, I wrote reviews for a website after college.  From age 13 through 24 or so I was the one to ask about music. Rock, pop, hip hop, classical, Christian, secular, even some country, I knew it all.

Then I started listening to talk radio. There was a talk radio station that hit Columbus soon after I moved here that played Glenn Beck, Dennis Miller and others. I had never listened to talk before and it caught my attention.

Soon, after finding myself getting depressed by political talk radio, I found sports talk radio. That is what's been on my radio dial for the majority of the past few years.

I've tried to listen to music on the radio when I'm driving but I get too impatient, for many reasons

1) When I do listen to music now it's on a computer or a mobile device where there are few or no commercials. That doesn't happen on the radio.

2) I don't know where to start. I have some stations saved that I heard something I liked at some point. But not knowing most of the songs makes me lose patients.

3) Common Man and the Torg are just too good to turn off, even though I don't really even follow sports that much anymore.

4) The station I default to the most, The River, repeats songs way too much.

5) When I listen to modern stations, I find a lot of the "music" is pretty terrible.

I do listen to Pandora at home, when I'm not listening to Podcasts (again, talk!). But Pandora has a tendency to repeat a lot, too. My iTunes library is solid but dated and doesn't teach me anything new. I thought Spotify might be the answer but a) I don't really know where to start and b) even if I find something I like I can't take it with me because I won't pay for mobile.

This is all frustrating because deep down I really miss my connection to music. (Much like I missed writing, hence this blog.)

I guess the impasse I've reached is that I like the music I know, and I'm comfortable with it. But I'm also  kind weary of it and want to find something new to add to it. But, the patience and time it takes to find good, new music doesn't really work for me right now.

This is the part of the blog post where I'm supposed to wrap things up in a nice little package and put a bow on it. But I am really lost here.

Any suggestions? How do you find new music? Or do you just crank up the "oldies" of whatever point in your life you connected to music the most? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

My BHAGs - An Update

It's been a month since I listed some Big Hairy Audacious Goals for myself. Every month I'll revisit them, update them, and sometimes add to the list. Yay, accountability. :-) 


Make daily devotions a lifestyle.
I've been doing ok with this. I got through Proverbs in the first 31 days, with only a few days where I had to catch up on several chapters. The other plan I'm working on, 100 Days of Discipline (this is through YouVersion) has been going decently, also. I still need to work on increasing my prayer life, though.

Read a book a month.
I was getting into 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller when I had to take it back to the library (you'd think they'd make the check-out time 48 days). It was really hitting the nail on the head when it came to my career path. I'm back on the wait list for it, but I may break down and buy it just because I want to get to where it tells me how to figure out my work life. Until I get it back I've started Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman since we own it.

Be Debt Free
Pending...

Get Baptized
I'm getting baptized on June 22nd. I'll have a blog post related to this sometime soon.

Write More
I'm trying to keep up with a goal of blogging a minimum of once a week. Hoping to get it up to twice a week at some point.

I'm also following the 15 Habits of Great Writers series, but I'm not as committed to is it as I want to be.

Are you investing in your marriage?

I've recently watched the marriage of people close to me head toward divorce for the first time in my life. I realize that I'm very fortunate that it took me until 30 to witness divorce and am still praying that this one won't end that way. It's been short and fast, and really, I've found it more difficult to deal with than a loved one's death.

With divorce, there is no finite end in this world, signed papers or not. It's harder to explain to children why so-and-so won't be around anymore if they're leaving than dying. (Still haven't figured out how to approach this.)

There are accepted things to say to someone when they've lost a loved one to death, I'm not familiar with what you tell someone when someone else turns their world upside down.

Divorce is not something to be taken lightly or as a joke, as some TV shows or magazines would lead you to believe.

So for those married, or thinking about marriage, never forget that a marriage is a living thing. No matter how long you've been married it needs a lot of attention, nurturing and work. A marriage isn't simply the effect of a wedding ceremony.

My wife and I have worked hard on ours,  especially over the past few years. I wanted to share a list of resources we've found helpful over the years.

Books

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman:

Photo Source: Barnes & Noble

I think most people have at least heard of this book. I had heard about it a long time ago but never read it. My wife had read it a long time ago but had kind of lost touch with it. We each read it last year and we were amazed at the differences it made.

Her love language is pretty obvious, so we both knew that going in. What I didn't understand was how to speak it. I'm still working on it, but I have a better understanding of what she's looking for now and am able to use it to better show her love.

We both thought we knew my love language as well, but it turns out we were both way off. Mine ended up being something I didn't even consider before hand.


Both of our love languages are towards the bottom of the other's rankings so it takes a lot of work to remember to give the other what they need. But the first step is knowing what they are. 

Knowing your spouse's love language keeps you from wasting time, spending money, and getting frustrated about things that don't even matter to your spouse. You might think they do because it would matter to you, but your spouse in most cases doesn't speak the same language and doesn't get what you're doing. If you're married or in a relationship, you need to read this book. 


Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs

Photo Source: Barnes & Noble

We did this book as a small group study and are very grateful that we did. 


Ephesians 5:33 says, However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. This book explains the why and the how about this verse (and others related to it). 


Love and Respect gave a definition, a plan and an end to what ended up being a central issue in our marriage. Two or three years removed from reading the book we don't necessarily use the terminology that Dr. Eggerichs uses, but we definitely still know the concept and realize when we're falling into what he calls "The Crazy Cycle." 


While we're still not perfect in this regard, the wisdom in this book has saved us a lot of greif over the past few years because we realize when we're falling into the traps we set up for ourselves.


Blogs / Websites


The Generous Husband / The Generous Wife / The Marriage Bed /


I put these three together because they're done by the same people, Paul and Lori Byerly. Paul and Lori have been through a lot in their lives and their marriage (marriages for Lori) and they've made their life work and mission to help others have the the type of marriage that God designed.

The Generous Husband and Wife are daily (yes, daily) blogs written by Paul and Lori respectively. They cover a multitude of topics and sometimes do series. They time and dedication they put into writing these is incredible. I truly recommend subscribing to whichever applies to you and I also recommend peaking at what you're spouse is getting, too. :-)

The Marriage Bed is a extensive resource site related to, well, that marriage bed. They cover everything from basics, to biology, to common issues, to intimacy. If you have any questions about how God designed intimacy and sex in marriage, it's a good resource to check out.

The Byerlys have a wonderful ministry and I'm sure they have many things that can help your marriage.

Mystery32

I'm not sure how long Erin Baxter's blog has been around, but I've only become familiar with it recently. Erin offers insightful, practical advice for everyday life in marriage. I enjoy her writing style and how she makes things couples tend to make complicated rather simple.

To Love, Honor and Vacuum

This blog, by author Sheila Wray Gregorie, is generally written for women; however a lot of her content applies to husbands as well. Shelia has a way of making the crazy in life make sense.

There are many fantastic marriage related blogs out there, I'm not going to go into all of them. Many found here or over on the sidebar on my blog list. Explore them, see which ones have content and writing that meets your needs.

Twitter

The only thing that has kept me on Twitter has been the access to fantastic marriage advice. I follow others, but the thing I go straight to is my Marriage and Family list. (I hope that link works.) There's a lot of fantastic people out there trying to help marriages improve all over the world.


Once you understand how a marriage is designed to work, you realize a lot of the things you spend your time on--arguing, fuming, acting out over--are a waste. The important thing is that you admit that as a newlywed, or even as an oldlywed, you don't know everything about marriage and you can always improve.

Spend time investing in your marriage. It's worth it!

Procrastination: Help Me Help Me

My first chiropractor visit was when I was 23-years-old.

My mom has worked in doctor's offices as long as I can remember (which isn't very long, I have poor long-term memory) and most medical doctors don't believe in chiropractors. Generally they believe chiropractors to be, for lack of a better term, quacks. My mom, having been in that world, understandably took their word for it. And I, in turn, took that same view without question.

My new wife, on the other hand, had been going to the chiropractor since she was young and her chiropractor corrected her scoliosis that a doctor was suggesting possible surgery. Whenever I complained about back pain, or mentioned the clicking noise that had been in my neck when I turned by head for the past five years or so, she suggested I go. Finally I relented.

Several months later I had no more click in my neck, I had double the range in turning my head, and most importantly, no more chronic back pain.

For awhile I went every two weeks, then every month, and now I go every few months, as does my wife. I rarely have back pain, I get sick a lot less, I hardly ever take a pain pill and I generally just feel better. Call it hokum if you want, but they work and we pay barely any money for MDs and medicine.

At the moment, however, my neck is tight, my back is sore, and my lower back has been cramping for several days. Why haven't I gone to the chiropractor? Finding the half-hour for the appointment, driving 20 min to get there, it all seems so... inconvenient.

It hit me tonight as my wife was kindly massaging a cramp in my back. I needed to go to the chiropractor a week ago, maybe two. But still I haven't taken the time, and now I'm much worse off for it. Instead of going for regular maintenance, I'm dealing with pain I normally don't have. Just because I didn't put forth effort to make an appointment and go to it.

One of our vehicles is overdue for an oil change (actually now that I think about it, possibly both of them are). In the back of my head I know it could cause greater damage, but the front of my head knows getting it in and getting it back is a hassle.

There's always reasons not to do something.

I don't like my job but looking for a new one is too much work. 


I want to clean out my garage but it will just get dirty again. 


I need to get some sleep, but I really want to write this blog post I just thought of...

I've always been a procrastinator, and probably will always be to some extent. But I'm realizing there comes a point where we have to help ourself and not let the inconvenience of resolving the issue make life worse and just do what needs done.

In the end it will make our day, our week, really our life better, whether the climb over the Mt. Cumbersome to get it done looks pleasant or not. When I send out daily e-mails at work, I often end it saying, "Let's choose to make it a great day!" Sometimes that means choosing to tackle some challenges along the way for a greater long-term result.

I'm going to put up with the pain in the neck of figuring out a way to get the pain in my back taken care of (and the other stuff, too.) Hopefully if there's something you've been putting off, you can find the motivation to stop the procrastination and get some resolution...ation.

(And by the way, if you live in Columbus and need a chiropractor, I highly recommend ours.)

My BHAGs

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life. --Greg Anderson

One thing (of many) my church does that I like is that they maintain of list of what are called BHAGs. This acronym (which is used by others as well) stands for Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

Goals are something I've often lacked in my life. I tend to go from day to day. I really don't know what I want to be doing in five years, or ten. I focus on what I'm doing now. Part of what I want to use this resource for is to set some personal goals and keep track of them. I've seen many bloggers do this, Rebekah, for instance, even has a permanent link  to her "Insane Goals."

This is a very personal and revealing thing to publish online. It lets anyone track your failures, but also your successes. Because this site is new, and I'm just starting to evaluate where I'm at, I'm not going to go too insane. But at the same time I want to challenge myself.

Here are a few goals I'll begin with, along with when I'd like to accomplish them and how I'll track my progress:

Make daily devotions a lifestyle.
I've always been hot and cold when it comes to taking time to read my Bible and spend time in prayer. More cold than hot, sadly. I'll usually do great for a few weeks, then get distracted and neglect them for a month or two. I read recently that it takes about 30 days to make (or break) a habit and 90 days to create a lifestyle change. I've gotten close to 30, never 90.

My greatest struggle is usually finding a regular time, I work at different times, my wife works at different times, nothing is ever consistent. This also becomes an excuse not to do it. So I really just need to pick a time, surrender what I'm doing and get to it.

Time frame: Now
Measure: Post daily readings to Twitter

Read a book a month.
This may not sound hairy and audacious, but I average maybe two or three books a year. I want to start spending more time reading and learning and get my mind functioning better again. I don't do fiction, I love non-fiction. I already have a book list started:
48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller (picked this up at the library yesterday)
Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman
Quitter by Jon Acuff
God's Story, Your Story by Max Lucado
The trick is for me to actually read them.

Time frame: Now
Measure: Post reviews on the blog when finished

Be Debt Free
My wife and I are currently taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. We had already completed Baby Step 1 (have an emergency fund of at least $1000 in the bank) before we started, so now we're gung ho on Baby Step 2: pay off all debt except the house. We've been fortunate enough to never accumulate any credit card debt, so we've already paid off our car and now we've gone all in on giving Sallie Mae her eviction papers. We've tailored our budget to have extra money to pay every month, we've began selling stuff, we're talking about the possibility of extra shifts at work, we've said no to going out to eat and buying a dining table and chairs we stumbled upon at World Market. We want Sallie Mae gone.

Time frame: 12-18 months (hairy and audacious, but that's the point)
Measure: Sallie Mae no longer taking our income!

Get Baptized
I'll cover this further in another post. It's a long story and has been kind of a big deal for me.

Time frame: End of May or June 2012
Measure: Kind of obvious.

These four things are a start. I need to set health goals, but I know I need more of a mindset change before that's going to work. These will take enough time and effort as it is for now. So, today begins a new start, this time with public failure as an added motivational tool!

A day later

What a difference a day makes.

After I set this up yesterday I thought a lot about it and what I wanted to accomplish with it. I decided to take back my earlier declaration that this would be all things random and focus it on my life and where I'm trying to go with it.

After I posted Death of a Sports Fan? on Facebook. I received an insightful note from my father-in-law pointing out that I may not feel like I have a hobby, but the reason I'm losing interest in the trivial things in life is because I'm pouring my time and effort into my family. Which is true. Instead of spending my time on the internet looking at sports stuff, I read marriage and family blogs. Instead of watching the game or a movie, I'll play with the kids. 

My life isn't really interesting enough to merit a blog. But I have a lot I want to accomplish and I feel like I'm making some traction with it, so I decided this would be a good resource to set goals, track progress, and vent out some ideas in my head.

So the URL and Name of the blog have already been changed. No longer Random Ross, this is now Prosscess. (It's Process and Ross together. Clever, yes?) 

I'll use this space as I see fit and I'm sure it will evolve over time. As I said earlier, we'll see how it goes. 

:-)

Death of a Sport Fan

Photo Credit: Associated Press

I originally published this on 3/29/12 as a Facebook note. I'm reposting it here because I want to follow up on it at a later time. 

As you may have noticed, sports have become a rarity on my Facebook updates. If you're around me in person often, you may have noticed I don't know much about it anymore or talk about it much. Being that I haven't written anything forever, and that I've been trying to process my disinterest in sports for awhile. I thought I'd try to explain it in writing since that's normally the best way for me to understand the thoughts in my head, and those around me who I normally talk sports with might understand better as well. 

The First Quarter - Birth of a Sports Fan

Growing up sports were everything for me. It started with baseball. I have very few memories of my childhood. But I distinctly remember my first Indians game. Perhaps it's because of the pictures that remain from it. The pictures I took of just about every inch of the stadium around me. I remember going to Indians games at Municipal Stadium, seeing them play agaist Nolan Ryan. As I grew up and the Indians were consistently terrible, my focus moved from team to team depending on who was winning. But the Indians were always my team. 

Baseball has continued to be my favorite sport. Being at a ballpark, no matter what level is relaxing and enjoyable for me. I can watch just about any game on tv. I don't know why, but I love baseball. Maybe there's some sort of link to that being one of my strongest childhood memories, I don't know. 

Basketball came next. My friends were suddenly into the NBA which I had never paid much attention to. I wanted to keep up so I turned on the tv and found a game. The geniuses that put WGN all over the place claimed another victory. I found a Chicago Bulls game. That Michael Jordan guy looked pretty good. So I made them my favorite team. This was 1989 or 90, a good time to become a Bulls fan and it got me into basketball rather quickly. A replica jersey phase would soon follow. After Jordan retired (the 2nd time) I decided I should root for my hometown team and started supporting the Cavs. Which again, ended up being a fortunate time to hop on a team's bandwagon. 

Football came a little later. I watched it some as a child but the Browns being the Browns I didn't really care all that much. As my interest in sports in general grew, I added football to my...roster...and again, the Browns being the Browns, I jumped on the Cowboys bandwagon because they were winning and fun to watch. Like I eventually did with the Cavs, I decided to fully support my hometown team, although this was much earlier. In 1994. Yep. 1994. So I dedicated myself to the Browns in time for them to move. But I was fully on board when they came back. Yay, me.

The Second Quarter - Nurturing of a Sports Fan

My sports fandom really took off in college as the boom of internet fantasy leagues hit about the same time I entered a dorm room. Fantasy sports let me go deeper into the games and feel more involved (and pull a ridiculous trade to my baseball-ignorant roommate*.)

Despite the fact that I lost interest in high school sports more or less the moment I graduated high school, I decided to major in journalism to become a sports writer. I was the sports editor of the newspaper my junior year. My senior year I became the managing editor and kept my finger prints all over the sports page (sorry Trex). The sports section (along with my hot-winded editorials) were my baby. 

Then during the fall semester of my senior year, I scored press passes to an Ohio State game. I sat in the box the first three quarters and hear 40- and 50-year-old men talk about driving hours to cover high school football games the night before and then driving to Columbus to cover the came on Saturday. They sounded miserable and their jobs sounded miserable. I decided I didn't want to be a sports writer. But I still loved being at the game and the game itself. 

The Third Quarter - Peak of a Sports Fan

A year-and-a-half after graduating college I happened upon the website armchairgm.com. I don't remember how. I think one of the founders found something sports-related I wrote and left a comment. Or a I saw a comment on another site. Once I was there, I was hooked.

ArmchairGM was (or I guess is, although it's a shell of it's former self) a sports wiki page where you could write and post your own articles, edit player and team pages, argue with other fans, etc. I wrote countless article for the page (which are all gone now as far as I can tell, I was able to find one through google archives). I was a top user and admin for the site. I ran college football polls. It became an obsession, really, that I had to step back from. 

Right around the same time I was cooling down on the site, the creators sold it (and have gone on to do some incredible things). It worked for the best for me, for as I was trying to get away from it the purchasing company destroyed the site. 

During this time my college football fanship thrived with the Buckeyes, I tried to quit the Browns and failed (the only articles I really wish I could get back from Armchair), LeBron was keeping my interest in the NBA, I made numerous trips from Columbus to Cleveland to see the Tribe. Sports were still my number one hobby. 

The Fourth Quarter - Infection of a Sports Fan

I almost used cancer instead of infection, but being that we live in a world were words are too often hyperbolized for sports usage, I won't. While high school sports were the first thing to go, the first major wrecking ball to my sports fandom was actually LeBron James' fault.

My interest in the NBA had been dwindling for some time. The players were selfish, the play was sloppy, the coaches were retreaded and reused, I hated that no one was saying anything about former Celtic Kevin McHale going to Minnesota and pulling multiple lopsided trades to his former team, it just wasn't much fun to watch anymore. But one of my teams actually had a chance to win a championship so I kept paying attention.

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Then "The Decision" happened. I said I didn't care, I said Cleveland didn't need someone like LeBron, but the fact was that after that I stopped watching the NBA completely. I followed enough to know a little of what was going on, but I didn't watch a game until LeBron was losing in the finals. And what surprised me the most, I didn't miss it. At all. The league which was at one point my favorite during junior high was now dead to me, and I didn't care. 

The next year came the Ohio State tattoo scandal. I hated that my favorite team had broken the rules for such stupid reasons. When that broke before the bowl game I was embarrassed by the team so much I didn't watch the game. Then, as the offseason went on, I listened and watched as grown men--players, coaches and administrators-- lied and covered until they couldn't lie and cover anymore. All to save some players with an inflated sense of entitlement so they could win some more games. This infuriated me. Men that put themselves on pedestals as ethical leaders (well, one man in particular) threw it all away for tattoos.

I thought it would go away, that I'd get over and start watching again, but as I stepped back from being an Ohio State fan, I saw the hoards of OSU fans that didn't think that anyone at the school did anything wrong, that couldn't understand why anyone was getting in trouble, that even though Tress was gone and the players were suspended that they'd still win every game and the national championship. The denial and delusion in this city was off-putting enough that I gave up the school completely and by default lost interest in college football completely. And again, I didn't miss it. 

This wasn't a huge hit or surprise, but still another sign, I've never been a big college basketball fan, but I've always done march madness. This year I didn't. I didn't miss it. 

As I left the NBA and NCAA behind without any remorse, I started to wonder. What would happen if I'd walk away from the NFL.... what about baseball? The more I think about it, I'm pretty sure I could give up the NFL. The Browns, after all, are still the Browns. I enjoy the game, I enjoy watching it and talking about it with friends. But I don't know that I'd actually miss it. 

Baseball on the other hand... I think I would miss baseball. I want to take my boys to baseball games like I went with my parents dozens and dozens and dozens of times (I really I wish I'd kept count.) I'd miss the ballpark, the feel, the atmosphere, the food and the game. But at the same time... I have to wonder if it's worth holding onto. 

Overtime - Life Support of a Sports Fan

"I don't fear failure. I fear succeeding at something that doesn't matter. -Dan Ericksons

I heard this quote recently, I believe it was at the men's breakfast at church. And it's been echoing through my head any time I question my sports fanhood. Sports don't matter. 

What if they Browns would win the Super Bowl (stop laughing) or the Indians the World Series (seriously, stop)? What if my team actually won it all? 

Fans are typically exuberant, but at this point, I don't know that I would be. Now that I've grown cold and distant to some sports, my emotions for the others have become very shallow. I'm still interested, but only mildly.  I really think if the Browns would win the Super Bowl this year, I'd be less "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and more "wow, cool." 

As I've stepped away from the NBA and NCAA and I see people talking and arguing and writing about their teams in these leagues I just don't get it anymore. I don't see spending time on something so insignificant. I see the value in the the distraction that sports provide, but it just becoming more and more worthless to me. 

But at the same time I hold on to the NFL and baseball.

It's not really taking up a lot of time or energy at this point. It's nice to have some knowledge for small talk usage, and I do still enjoy watching both of the sports, but I don't find the highs of the win or the lows of the losses, it doesn't directly affect me anymore. Which is good in a way, but at the same time makes the time I do devote to it less worthwhile. 

At this point I'm more or less rambling. Because this is where I am. I feel like I need to recommit to sports (namely these two) as a hobby and distraction; Or walk away completely and just forget about it. The decision might be easier if I had another major hobby, but nothing has really filled this gap yet. 

I guess a decision won't come now because baseball certainly won't be the next to go. Really I need to decide sooner rather than later if I'm going to watch the NFL next year. That would most likely be the final test to see how much life this sports fan still has in him. 

*Jeff Kent for Eric Young, I sold it on Young's steals. Sorry, Chris. Kind of. 

And away we go...

I've decided to attempt blogging.

I have continuously put it off because I felt that if I was going to blog it would need to have a focus subject, but I realized that wasn't going to happen. What I need right now is to write, so I'm going to write about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.

We'll see how it goes. :-)