Procrastination: Help Me Help Me

My first chiropractor visit was when I was 23-years-old.

My mom has worked in doctor's offices as long as I can remember (which isn't very long, I have poor long-term memory) and most medical doctors don't believe in chiropractors. Generally they believe chiropractors to be, for lack of a better term, quacks. My mom, having been in that world, understandably took their word for it. And I, in turn, took that same view without question.

My new wife, on the other hand, had been going to the chiropractor since she was young and her chiropractor corrected her scoliosis that a doctor was suggesting possible surgery. Whenever I complained about back pain, or mentioned the clicking noise that had been in my neck when I turned by head for the past five years or so, she suggested I go. Finally I relented.

Several months later I had no more click in my neck, I had double the range in turning my head, and most importantly, no more chronic back pain.

For awhile I went every two weeks, then every month, and now I go every few months, as does my wife. I rarely have back pain, I get sick a lot less, I hardly ever take a pain pill and I generally just feel better. Call it hokum if you want, but they work and we pay barely any money for MDs and medicine.

At the moment, however, my neck is tight, my back is sore, and my lower back has been cramping for several days. Why haven't I gone to the chiropractor? Finding the half-hour for the appointment, driving 20 min to get there, it all seems so... inconvenient.

It hit me tonight as my wife was kindly massaging a cramp in my back. I needed to go to the chiropractor a week ago, maybe two. But still I haven't taken the time, and now I'm much worse off for it. Instead of going for regular maintenance, I'm dealing with pain I normally don't have. Just because I didn't put forth effort to make an appointment and go to it.

One of our vehicles is overdue for an oil change (actually now that I think about it, possibly both of them are). In the back of my head I know it could cause greater damage, but the front of my head knows getting it in and getting it back is a hassle.

There's always reasons not to do something.

I don't like my job but looking for a new one is too much work. 


I want to clean out my garage but it will just get dirty again. 


I need to get some sleep, but I really want to write this blog post I just thought of...

I've always been a procrastinator, and probably will always be to some extent. But I'm realizing there comes a point where we have to help ourself and not let the inconvenience of resolving the issue make life worse and just do what needs done.

In the end it will make our day, our week, really our life better, whether the climb over the Mt. Cumbersome to get it done looks pleasant or not. When I send out daily e-mails at work, I often end it saying, "Let's choose to make it a great day!" Sometimes that means choosing to tackle some challenges along the way for a greater long-term result.

I'm going to put up with the pain in the neck of figuring out a way to get the pain in my back taken care of (and the other stuff, too.) Hopefully if there's something you've been putting off, you can find the motivation to stop the procrastination and get some resolution...ation.

(And by the way, if you live in Columbus and need a chiropractor, I highly recommend ours.)

My BHAGs

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life. --Greg Anderson

One thing (of many) my church does that I like is that they maintain of list of what are called BHAGs. This acronym (which is used by others as well) stands for Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

Goals are something I've often lacked in my life. I tend to go from day to day. I really don't know what I want to be doing in five years, or ten. I focus on what I'm doing now. Part of what I want to use this resource for is to set some personal goals and keep track of them. I've seen many bloggers do this, Rebekah, for instance, even has a permanent link  to her "Insane Goals."

This is a very personal and revealing thing to publish online. It lets anyone track your failures, but also your successes. Because this site is new, and I'm just starting to evaluate where I'm at, I'm not going to go too insane. But at the same time I want to challenge myself.

Here are a few goals I'll begin with, along with when I'd like to accomplish them and how I'll track my progress:

Make daily devotions a lifestyle.
I've always been hot and cold when it comes to taking time to read my Bible and spend time in prayer. More cold than hot, sadly. I'll usually do great for a few weeks, then get distracted and neglect them for a month or two. I read recently that it takes about 30 days to make (or break) a habit and 90 days to create a lifestyle change. I've gotten close to 30, never 90.

My greatest struggle is usually finding a regular time, I work at different times, my wife works at different times, nothing is ever consistent. This also becomes an excuse not to do it. So I really just need to pick a time, surrender what I'm doing and get to it.

Time frame: Now
Measure: Post daily readings to Twitter

Read a book a month.
This may not sound hairy and audacious, but I average maybe two or three books a year. I want to start spending more time reading and learning and get my mind functioning better again. I don't do fiction, I love non-fiction. I already have a book list started:
48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller (picked this up at the library yesterday)
Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman
Quitter by Jon Acuff
God's Story, Your Story by Max Lucado
The trick is for me to actually read them.

Time frame: Now
Measure: Post reviews on the blog when finished

Be Debt Free
My wife and I are currently taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. We had already completed Baby Step 1 (have an emergency fund of at least $1000 in the bank) before we started, so now we're gung ho on Baby Step 2: pay off all debt except the house. We've been fortunate enough to never accumulate any credit card debt, so we've already paid off our car and now we've gone all in on giving Sallie Mae her eviction papers. We've tailored our budget to have extra money to pay every month, we've began selling stuff, we're talking about the possibility of extra shifts at work, we've said no to going out to eat and buying a dining table and chairs we stumbled upon at World Market. We want Sallie Mae gone.

Time frame: 12-18 months (hairy and audacious, but that's the point)
Measure: Sallie Mae no longer taking our income!

Get Baptized
I'll cover this further in another post. It's a long story and has been kind of a big deal for me.

Time frame: End of May or June 2012
Measure: Kind of obvious.

These four things are a start. I need to set health goals, but I know I need more of a mindset change before that's going to work. These will take enough time and effort as it is for now. So, today begins a new start, this time with public failure as an added motivational tool!

A day later

What a difference a day makes.

After I set this up yesterday I thought a lot about it and what I wanted to accomplish with it. I decided to take back my earlier declaration that this would be all things random and focus it on my life and where I'm trying to go with it.

After I posted Death of a Sports Fan? on Facebook. I received an insightful note from my father-in-law pointing out that I may not feel like I have a hobby, but the reason I'm losing interest in the trivial things in life is because I'm pouring my time and effort into my family. Which is true. Instead of spending my time on the internet looking at sports stuff, I read marriage and family blogs. Instead of watching the game or a movie, I'll play with the kids. 

My life isn't really interesting enough to merit a blog. But I have a lot I want to accomplish and I feel like I'm making some traction with it, so I decided this would be a good resource to set goals, track progress, and vent out some ideas in my head.

So the URL and Name of the blog have already been changed. No longer Random Ross, this is now Prosscess. (It's Process and Ross together. Clever, yes?) 

I'll use this space as I see fit and I'm sure it will evolve over time. As I said earlier, we'll see how it goes. 

:-)

Death of a Sport Fan

Photo Credit: Associated Press

I originally published this on 3/29/12 as a Facebook note. I'm reposting it here because I want to follow up on it at a later time. 

As you may have noticed, sports have become a rarity on my Facebook updates. If you're around me in person often, you may have noticed I don't know much about it anymore or talk about it much. Being that I haven't written anything forever, and that I've been trying to process my disinterest in sports for awhile. I thought I'd try to explain it in writing since that's normally the best way for me to understand the thoughts in my head, and those around me who I normally talk sports with might understand better as well. 

The First Quarter - Birth of a Sports Fan

Growing up sports were everything for me. It started with baseball. I have very few memories of my childhood. But I distinctly remember my first Indians game. Perhaps it's because of the pictures that remain from it. The pictures I took of just about every inch of the stadium around me. I remember going to Indians games at Municipal Stadium, seeing them play agaist Nolan Ryan. As I grew up and the Indians were consistently terrible, my focus moved from team to team depending on who was winning. But the Indians were always my team. 

Baseball has continued to be my favorite sport. Being at a ballpark, no matter what level is relaxing and enjoyable for me. I can watch just about any game on tv. I don't know why, but I love baseball. Maybe there's some sort of link to that being one of my strongest childhood memories, I don't know. 

Basketball came next. My friends were suddenly into the NBA which I had never paid much attention to. I wanted to keep up so I turned on the tv and found a game. The geniuses that put WGN all over the place claimed another victory. I found a Chicago Bulls game. That Michael Jordan guy looked pretty good. So I made them my favorite team. This was 1989 or 90, a good time to become a Bulls fan and it got me into basketball rather quickly. A replica jersey phase would soon follow. After Jordan retired (the 2nd time) I decided I should root for my hometown team and started supporting the Cavs. Which again, ended up being a fortunate time to hop on a team's bandwagon. 

Football came a little later. I watched it some as a child but the Browns being the Browns I didn't really care all that much. As my interest in sports in general grew, I added football to my...roster...and again, the Browns being the Browns, I jumped on the Cowboys bandwagon because they were winning and fun to watch. Like I eventually did with the Cavs, I decided to fully support my hometown team, although this was much earlier. In 1994. Yep. 1994. So I dedicated myself to the Browns in time for them to move. But I was fully on board when they came back. Yay, me.

The Second Quarter - Nurturing of a Sports Fan

My sports fandom really took off in college as the boom of internet fantasy leagues hit about the same time I entered a dorm room. Fantasy sports let me go deeper into the games and feel more involved (and pull a ridiculous trade to my baseball-ignorant roommate*.)

Despite the fact that I lost interest in high school sports more or less the moment I graduated high school, I decided to major in journalism to become a sports writer. I was the sports editor of the newspaper my junior year. My senior year I became the managing editor and kept my finger prints all over the sports page (sorry Trex). The sports section (along with my hot-winded editorials) were my baby. 

Then during the fall semester of my senior year, I scored press passes to an Ohio State game. I sat in the box the first three quarters and hear 40- and 50-year-old men talk about driving hours to cover high school football games the night before and then driving to Columbus to cover the came on Saturday. They sounded miserable and their jobs sounded miserable. I decided I didn't want to be a sports writer. But I still loved being at the game and the game itself. 

The Third Quarter - Peak of a Sports Fan

A year-and-a-half after graduating college I happened upon the website armchairgm.com. I don't remember how. I think one of the founders found something sports-related I wrote and left a comment. Or a I saw a comment on another site. Once I was there, I was hooked.

ArmchairGM was (or I guess is, although it's a shell of it's former self) a sports wiki page where you could write and post your own articles, edit player and team pages, argue with other fans, etc. I wrote countless article for the page (which are all gone now as far as I can tell, I was able to find one through google archives). I was a top user and admin for the site. I ran college football polls. It became an obsession, really, that I had to step back from. 

Right around the same time I was cooling down on the site, the creators sold it (and have gone on to do some incredible things). It worked for the best for me, for as I was trying to get away from it the purchasing company destroyed the site. 

During this time my college football fanship thrived with the Buckeyes, I tried to quit the Browns and failed (the only articles I really wish I could get back from Armchair), LeBron was keeping my interest in the NBA, I made numerous trips from Columbus to Cleveland to see the Tribe. Sports were still my number one hobby. 

The Fourth Quarter - Infection of a Sports Fan

I almost used cancer instead of infection, but being that we live in a world were words are too often hyperbolized for sports usage, I won't. While high school sports were the first thing to go, the first major wrecking ball to my sports fandom was actually LeBron James' fault.

My interest in the NBA had been dwindling for some time. The players were selfish, the play was sloppy, the coaches were retreaded and reused, I hated that no one was saying anything about former Celtic Kevin McHale going to Minnesota and pulling multiple lopsided trades to his former team, it just wasn't much fun to watch anymore. But one of my teams actually had a chance to win a championship so I kept paying attention.

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Then "The Decision" happened. I said I didn't care, I said Cleveland didn't need someone like LeBron, but the fact was that after that I stopped watching the NBA completely. I followed enough to know a little of what was going on, but I didn't watch a game until LeBron was losing in the finals. And what surprised me the most, I didn't miss it. At all. The league which was at one point my favorite during junior high was now dead to me, and I didn't care. 

The next year came the Ohio State tattoo scandal. I hated that my favorite team had broken the rules for such stupid reasons. When that broke before the bowl game I was embarrassed by the team so much I didn't watch the game. Then, as the offseason went on, I listened and watched as grown men--players, coaches and administrators-- lied and covered until they couldn't lie and cover anymore. All to save some players with an inflated sense of entitlement so they could win some more games. This infuriated me. Men that put themselves on pedestals as ethical leaders (well, one man in particular) threw it all away for tattoos.

I thought it would go away, that I'd get over and start watching again, but as I stepped back from being an Ohio State fan, I saw the hoards of OSU fans that didn't think that anyone at the school did anything wrong, that couldn't understand why anyone was getting in trouble, that even though Tress was gone and the players were suspended that they'd still win every game and the national championship. The denial and delusion in this city was off-putting enough that I gave up the school completely and by default lost interest in college football completely. And again, I didn't miss it. 

This wasn't a huge hit or surprise, but still another sign, I've never been a big college basketball fan, but I've always done march madness. This year I didn't. I didn't miss it. 

As I left the NBA and NCAA behind without any remorse, I started to wonder. What would happen if I'd walk away from the NFL.... what about baseball? The more I think about it, I'm pretty sure I could give up the NFL. The Browns, after all, are still the Browns. I enjoy the game, I enjoy watching it and talking about it with friends. But I don't know that I'd actually miss it. 

Baseball on the other hand... I think I would miss baseball. I want to take my boys to baseball games like I went with my parents dozens and dozens and dozens of times (I really I wish I'd kept count.) I'd miss the ballpark, the feel, the atmosphere, the food and the game. But at the same time... I have to wonder if it's worth holding onto. 

Overtime - Life Support of a Sports Fan

"I don't fear failure. I fear succeeding at something that doesn't matter. -Dan Ericksons

I heard this quote recently, I believe it was at the men's breakfast at church. And it's been echoing through my head any time I question my sports fanhood. Sports don't matter. 

What if they Browns would win the Super Bowl (stop laughing) or the Indians the World Series (seriously, stop)? What if my team actually won it all? 

Fans are typically exuberant, but at this point, I don't know that I would be. Now that I've grown cold and distant to some sports, my emotions for the others have become very shallow. I'm still interested, but only mildly.  I really think if the Browns would win the Super Bowl this year, I'd be less "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and more "wow, cool." 

As I've stepped away from the NBA and NCAA and I see people talking and arguing and writing about their teams in these leagues I just don't get it anymore. I don't see spending time on something so insignificant. I see the value in the the distraction that sports provide, but it just becoming more and more worthless to me. 

But at the same time I hold on to the NFL and baseball.

It's not really taking up a lot of time or energy at this point. It's nice to have some knowledge for small talk usage, and I do still enjoy watching both of the sports, but I don't find the highs of the win or the lows of the losses, it doesn't directly affect me anymore. Which is good in a way, but at the same time makes the time I do devote to it less worthwhile. 

At this point I'm more or less rambling. Because this is where I am. I feel like I need to recommit to sports (namely these two) as a hobby and distraction; Or walk away completely and just forget about it. The decision might be easier if I had another major hobby, but nothing has really filled this gap yet. 

I guess a decision won't come now because baseball certainly won't be the next to go. Really I need to decide sooner rather than later if I'm going to watch the NFL next year. That would most likely be the final test to see how much life this sports fan still has in him. 

*Jeff Kent for Eric Young, I sold it on Young's steals. Sorry, Chris. Kind of. 

And away we go...

I've decided to attempt blogging.

I have continuously put it off because I felt that if I was going to blog it would need to have a focus subject, but I realized that wasn't going to happen. What I need right now is to write, so I'm going to write about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.

We'll see how it goes. :-)